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The Life of a Single
"Don't understand Speed dating, what's the rush?"
1stloveonline are lucky enough to team up with the young and talented Irish writer
Edel McCaul
Edel has had many articles published and has
agreed to put pen to paper to give us a fascinating insight into the
taboo world of Irish singles, Edel's more than often humourous writings
have been likened to Sex in the city's "Carrie" (Sarah Jessica Parker) but the big
difference being
Edel herself when she wrote this was a
real single person, in real situations and not what some script writers idea of single life is
about.
I'm so excited about having her onboard and here im pleased to say is the first instalment!!!!
Dating: Stay Single or Get Connected?
The dating scene in Ireland has changed drastically over the last few years.
A casual meeting of minds over coffee, an arranged date with flowers and
dinner, a gentle kiss goodnight.... all these things appear to be almost
non-existent in a world where compatibility, comparability and stability are
high on the list of factors to consider in a relationship.
Even the lower species of rodent use their senses to detect abnormalities in
a potential mate, so is it really any wonder that we do the same?
Speed dating has its advantages of course, you can meet hundreds of
potential partners, If you decide someone is not
for you, you don't have to handle the awkward situation of telling him or
her face to face. If you decide that this person could be your first true
love, then you can take the chance and go for it.
But what about those stomach turning, heart wrenching moments when you see
someone for the first time, and you have the opportunity to find out all
about them over numerous dates? The gentle flirtation of a shy smile, a
prolonged look, a friendly but pulse-racing entwinement of fingers? A true
romantic at heart, I find it hard to believe that each of these things is
not just as important as the final realisation that you have found your
first love.
It is the emotional journey that a couple travel together that makes a
relationship strong enough to last, and to keep on going. Perhaps it was all
those romance films I watched as a child, and even now, that has put so much
hope in my heart that there is a romantic storyline out there for everyone,
a Clarke Gable for every Scarlet O'Hara, and a Patrick Swayze for every
Jennifer Grey.
Patience is a virtue that many of us find hard to keep, especially in
matters of the heart. Unfortunately I have come to learn that you are more
likely to find a psychopathic stalker at a bus stop than you are your true
love, or if you initiate a conversation you appear to be the former!
So how do you find that special someone in this up-to-date world while
maintaining some traditional romance?
Believe me, it's not easy. It involves compromising your views on certain
aspects of dating which have changed in recent years. I had the unfortunate
experience of doing this by going to a single's night, which was probably
the final straw on compromising for me.
It was about the worst night of the year for single people; you know what
I'm talking about...Valentine's night. Dragged into a club by a well-meaning
friend, I was immediately pinned with a pink sticker labelled Jill. After
several moments of confusion I realised the object of this ridiculous task
was to find my Jack, somewhere lurking along the bar.
Images of Jack from Circle of Friends, Jack from Speed, and Jack from
Titanic raced through my mind as I scanned the bar. As I began to despair of
ever finding my Valentine's love, I saw him. Standing frozen for a minute, I
ripped off my Jill tag and ran for the nearest exit. Why? He was more Father
Jack than any of the above.
We all have these images in our head of whom it is we want to date, and in
some cases, even marry. So is speed dating just the practical way to go
about achieving this? Transferring the image in our head to the computer
screen, and letting it do all the work for us?
The problem with this is if you haven't found what you are looking for, how
do you know you are going to want it once you have found it? It isn't called
"falling in love" for nothing. On many occasions, people fall in love
without ever planning to, without even realising that what they had been
searching for was there all along. Hitting them smack in the face they
suddenly realise that no matter how hard you search, love finds you, not the
other way around.
Why are people in such a rush to find their destined soul mate? As I've
said, the dating scene has changed over the last few years, and single life
is not as intimidating as it used to be. It is not a sign of failure to be
single; it is a sign of independence. Nor is it a sign of rebellion against
social affiliations, but of confidence in self worth.
Being single is becoming more and more a desirable choice of lifestyle than
ever before. And that's exactly what it is, a lifestyle. Parties, freedom to
do whatever you want, whenever you want & however you want, without ever
having to worry about consequences on your other half, or consider their
opinions, thoughts and feelings.
In case you haven't noticed however, I have mixed feelings when it comes to
being a Me-girl or a We-girl. Although mother's home cooking and dinners for
one are enjoyable, you can't beat that feeling of sharing a burnt, chewy and
undercooked attempt of a romantic meal by candle-light, in the early days
when everything tastes good and a life shared is euphoric.
You see, although I think I have made some damn good points to stay single,
we are all human. And what we sometimes crave more than air itself is that
feeling of togetherness, closeness, intimacy and sexual energy that only a
partner can provide.
So what have you got to lose by trying speed dating? Pride? Be proud to know
you are going out there for what will make you happy! Independence? Only you
will know when you've met the person that you'll actually want to be able to
depend on. Time? What and where is so important right this minute, that
overbalances the possibility that you are about to be part of a miraculous
and wonderful joining of hearts and minds?
As Madonna, the queen of singles, sex and settling down sings, "Push the
button, don't push the button..." You decide.
Edel McCaul
If you Would Like to write an article use the contact link to drop me a line
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